ARE THERE PHILOSOPHY JOKES?
Of course! For example:
Waiter: “More wine M. Descartes?” Descartes: “I think not.” And then Descartes disappeared…
Nihilism means nothing to me.
What if you cross a philosopher with a gangster?
You get an offer you can’t understand…
Kleptomaniacs take things literally.
The philosophy professor enters on the day of the final exam and places a chair on the table at the front of the classroom, then writes on the whiteboard: “Using everything you have learned this semester, prove this chair does not exist.” Most of the students begin writing. One of them gets up after a minute, hands her paper to the professor, and leaves. Another student asks what the departing classmate wrote. The professor picks up her paper and reads: “What chair?”
Aristotle: To be is to do.
Sartre: To do is to be.
Sinatra: Do be do be do.
Theologian: “Philosophers are like a blind persons looking for something that isn’t there.”
Philosopher: “Perhaps; but if they were theologians, they’d find it!”
A voice came to Charlie Brown, saying: “Cheer up. Things could be worse.” So he cheered up and, sure enough, things got worse…
Three men die in December and find themselves at the Gates. They’re told they must each contribute a reminder of christmas. The first says, “Jingle Bells.” The second says, “White Christmas.” The third fishes a pair of panties from his pocket and says, “These are Carol’s”
The dyslexic philosophy student decided he was “DOG”
The most important quality for life is sincerity. So, if you can fake that, you’ve got it made…
How do you get a philosophy major off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
Finally:
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.